Dark night of the Soul.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Having the space and clarity to reflect on challenging or traumatic experiences; how we responded, coped, dealt with, the lessons we gained, the losses, the wins, the pain, the growth.

But what about when you are in the thick of it? What about when you have an awareness that you are journeying through an experience that is going to change the trajectory of your life? One that is going to rewrite your story? Breaking generational cycles, healing ancestral wounds and creating a new path for your bloodline to follow?

Is it frightening? Absolutely.

Is it liberating? Absolutely.

And it’s also painful, and debilitating, and has brought me to my knees when I least expected it.

My own experience of dark night of the soul is one I am only just beginning to rise from.

It came out of nowhere, bringing so much confusion, darkness, grief, and a deep sense of loneliness that I have never before experienced.

I have felt like I was drowning in waves of grief, anger, confusion, sadness, accepting that this is simply what I have to endure in this lifetime, that there is no light, no other path, no way out. No plan B, this is it.

This has been a long and exhausting journey for me, and I have had the addition of lockdown to thank for that. 18 months of sitting with my painful truth, plunging to my depths and facing my wounded self, acknowledging aspects of her that I had buried, neglected and forgotten.

Feeling all of it. Every shade and intensity of emotion. Embodying it, witnessing it, processing it, releasing it.

I have sat with my wounded self, met her head on, held her hand, become reacquainted. And I have welcomed her back, listening to her whispers, gifting her what she needs so that she can finally breathe, rise, experience joy, and shine. Because she is so worthy.

I have remembered who she is, the essence of her being, what her dreams were, what brought her so much joy, what lit her up, the powerful and wise words she wanted to speak, how she wanted to show up in the world, the life she wanted to create for herself, her visions, her passion, her truth.

And I have shed, grieved, allowed myself to rest, to sink in to the slowness, to breathe, to rage, to surrender, to be creative, to learn, to grow, to understand that I’m also doing all of this in each moment of doing nothing. And that it’s ok.

Because it's only in the stillness of life that we hear the whispers of our soul.

As you journey through the dark night of your soul, as you journey back to yourself, be ok with witnessing every shadow of your heart. They are your wounded aspects. They are calling out to be seen, to be heard, to be healed, to be loved.

This is certainly not easy. It’s painful, it’s slow, it’s suffocating, it comes in waves and there are moments when you struggle to even breathe. But amidst all of this, try and find that deep trust. It’s there. That deep inner trust and anchored knowing that this is exactly where you are meant to be. That this experience, the decisions you have to now make as a result of stepping up and doing this healing work, is part of your journey. That you have a choice to remain stagnant, playing small, living in your shadow, or you can step up, embrace this painful experience, move through this brief moment of your life with courage, and trust that it is propelling you on to your highest path of pure joy, abundance and magnificent experiences.

Choose to rewrite your story.

That’s what I choose.

And it’s this deep inner trust that is helping me stay grounded, allowing me to continue to feel every emotion, to acknowledge the pain and the fear, the doubts, the grief, and to keep moving forward, without looking back, on to my most magnificent life path.

Because I am worthy.

Remember that you are divinely supported and healing your heart is what your soul has been waiting for.

You can do this. Trust.

xx

If you’re ready to be supported and guided within to begin or deepen your healing journey, then I'm here for you, to clear, heal and expand your consciousness.

You can connect with me here.

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